The Cat, the Tiger, and the Insane Kid
by Swing123
Summary: The famed Calvin and Hobbes get into a wreck next to Garfield's house. Jon invites them to stay for the weekend. Garfield isn't to thrilled, however. Plus there's more trouble. COMPLETE! Please R&R!
1. The Great Wreck of Doom!

* * *

Prolog

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Calvin said over and over.

Calvin and his family were taking a vacation, finally not to a big rock in the middle of the lake, but a nice quiet motel with a pool.

"Calvin for the last time! WE AREN'T THERE YET!" Dad screamed.

"We will _never _be there if you don't stop..."

Just then there was a loud BANG sound.

Calvin clutched his chest. "Ugh! Ya got me partner! Bury me not on the lone prairies!"

"Calm down, Calvin, it's just a flat tire." Dad said.

Dad got out of the car.

He opened the trunk.

"CALVIN!"

Calvin got out of the car. "Yes?"

"Did you take the spare tire out so you could fit in more comic books?"

"Yes." Calvin said.

"Do you realize what a mistake you've made?"

"Your right, I should have brought more Captain Nalplam, and less Amazon Woman."

"What is it?" Mom asked, sticking her head out the car.

"Your kid took the spare tire out, before we left." Dad said.

"Hobbes made me." Calvin insisted.

Mom and Dad both threw their heads backward in disgust.

* * *

Meanwhile, only about five hundred feet away, Garfield the cat stalked his prey; a tuna sandwich.

Jon took a bite out of it, and chewed.

Garfield stalked.

Then he leaped through the air!

"AAA! GARFIELD LET GO! AAA!"

RIP! TEAR! SHRED!

Garfield walked off, the sandwich in his hands.

Jon picked himself off the table.

Just then, Garfield kicked Odie off the table, and he went soaring into the living room.

Garfield then turned around, and walked back.

He dropped the crusts of the sandwich on Jon's plate, and jumped off the table.

He then yawned, and stretched himself on his bed, and fell asleep.

Jon glared at him for a second, then noticed a red car out front.

"Hmmmm." He said. "That's odd."

He walked outside.

* * *

Dad was now trying to find the hole in the tire.

Calvin was leaning against the car.

"What are ya gonna fix it with?" Calvin asked. "Bubble gum?"

"Shut up!" Dad spat.

Just then, a voice rang out, "Do you need some help?"

Dad looked up, and saw some dorky guy with brown hair rushing up.

"Hello, yes, our tire popped, do you have any spares?"

"No." Jon said. "And since this is Saturday, the tire shop won't be open for two days."

Dad started banging his head against the car.

"But you can stay with me." Jon suggested.

Garfield's eyes flew open, and he rushed out of bed.

"BAD CHOICE!" He yelled. "More people means less food! And less food means unhappy Garfield! And unhappy Garfield means unhappy Jon!"

"We'd love to stay here." Mom said.

"Terrific!" Jon said.

"**NNOOOOOOOOOOO!**" Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes all screamed in unison.

_SWING123: Perhaps a bad start. I'm sorry. That virus really postponed this. The next chapter is going to be longer and better, I promise._


	2. The meeting

**To the Reviewers:**

PeanutsFan: Documents being deleted can be quite annoying, huh? I suggest you keep extra copies of your documents. Probably about two or three copies. Just to be safe.

:): Thanks.

CABS: I respect your comments to my story. I do agree Calvin should have told mom in THE PHOTO MAN, However, when you just said it was bad, Like here, that didn't help me improve whatsoever. So please, next time you review, tell me how to improve, don't just say "This is lame".

tootierulez: indeed. I wish you luck with your Odie story.

Garfieldodie: yeah! HA! This whole trip is gonna be one big complaint from Calvin. Garfield will probably hit it off with Hobbes better.

_Swing123: This would probably be better if you read _Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie, _if you haven't already read it._ _You don't have to, the story will still make sense, but the story would be more thrilling if you did._

**Chapter one**

Garfield refused to look at Jon as he led Calvin and the gang into the house.

"...and this is the Kitchen." Jon said.

"Strictly off limits to all of you." Garfield added.

"And over here is the living room."

Calvin grinned, and walked over to the TV.

Garfield jumped in front of it.

"The box's off limits too, spiky!" He spat.

Calvin glared at Garfield.

"Call me spiky will ya?" He spat. "Well, buddy, I'm a sharp tongue at insults too!"

Calvin studied Garfield.

"To insult a person, first you must find the correct part of anatomy to start with." He said.

Calvin's eyes fell on Garfield's stomach.

Instantly he started ratting off insults without thinking about them.

"Beach ball! Brainless bundle of fur! Elephant! Fatty! Fatso! Hippopotamus! Lard ball!"

Garfield stared at him.

"Those were in alphabetical order in case you didn't notice." Calvin sniffed.

Garfield rolled his eyes as Jon continued the tour.

When it was done, Garfield felt hungry. As Usual.

"Well, I better start my midday meal between brunh and punch."

Garfield opened his list of things to eat.

"Lets see. Tuna is on the list for prunch today." He said.

He opened the refrigerator door.

All the tuna was gone.

"What is wrong with this picture?" Garfield asked.

He raced into the living room where Calvin and Hobbes were watching Spongebob Squarepants.

"Great error in kitchen!" Garfield screamed. "Sound the alarms! Call in the guard cats! Call in the US Navy! Is that what your holding what I think it is?"

Hobbes was holding a big carton on tuna, and was shoving it in his mouth.

"You should know better than to eat at other people's houses!" Garfield spat.

"Especially MY house!"

"Hey Garfield!" Calvin yelled. "I'll trade you five Captain Nalpalm cards for an Amazon Girl!"

"No you will not trade me five captain Nilpalm cards for an Garfield spat.

"Its Captain NALPALM." Hobbes said between bites.

"I don't care what it is! Give me my tuna!"

"Hey Garfield, would you, like some tuna?" Hobbes asked.

Garfield slapped his forehead.

"Hobbes," He said. "I'm going to say this calmly. And with quiet dignity. **_GIVE ME BACK MY TUNA!_**"

The force of Garfield's explosion sent Calvin and Hobbes flying out of the chair.

"Ok, if you're gonna be bossy!" Hobbes handed Garfield the bowl of tuna.

"I don't see what you two morons see in that food anyway!" Calvin grumbled, grumpily. "Its just Mustard, fish and mayonnaise!"

Garfield and Hobbes ignored Calvin, and ate the tuna down.

Then, Calvin walked back to the chair.

There was a dog in the chair.

"Get out of my way, mutt! Make way for Calvin the bold!"

Odie stared at him, with his usual expression on his face.

"Move over!" Calvin yelled.

The dog didn't move.

"So, Garfield," Hobbes said. "Tell me about yourself."

"I would." Garfield said. "But I'm too lazy. Here, take this list."

Garfield handed Hobbes a list.

Hobbes stared at it.

"This is a grocery list." Hobbes said.

"It's all you'll ever need to know about me." Garfield yawned. "Besides sleeping that is."

Meanwhile Calvin was still trying to get Odie out of the chair.

"Moving sesame!" He screamed. "Pasta la move-a! MOVE OVER!"

Odie grabbed the remote, and changed it to "Bowling for dogs."

"Give m that remote!" Calvin grabbed the remote.

Odie growled and hung on.

Calvin and Odie tugged and tugged at the remote.

Just then, it broke in half.

Calvin and Odie stared at its remains.

Calvin's head jerked back up to Odie.

"That was all your fault, dog!"

Calvin leaped into the middle of Odie, and the wreck was on.

It was quite a scene watching Calvin wrestle with Odie.

Garfield walked over to the TV.

He grabbed an extra remote from under the cushion, and changed the channel.

Although, he wasn't content to stay on just one channel.

Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!

Hobbes watched. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Exercises" Garfield replied.

Just then Calvin's head popped up next to Hobbes.

"I thought Odie was fighting you." Hobbes said.

"He _was_." Calvin grinned.

* * *

Jon walked into the Kitchen and saw Odie's tongue knotted to a table leg.

"GARFIELD!"

* * *

Later, Calvin and Hobbes were unpacking their stuff.

Calvin had brought his seemingly bottomless duffle bag, and was pulling stuff out like a box, a bundle of photographs, and a journal marked with "THIS IS THE TRUTH!"

"What's that?" Garfield asked.

"These are photographs I took when me and Hobbes went to the Jurassic Period." Calvin said.

"This is my invention the Time Machine/Duplicator/Transfigoromer, and this my experience lost in uncharted wilderness."

While Odie played with the duplicator, Garfield flipped through the journal.

"Aliens?" he asked.

"Yup." Calvin said. "Full fledged aliens."

"They're still after you?" Garfield asked.

"As far as I know." Calvin said. "I haven't seen them for weeks, however. They're probably miles from here! Now come on, and I'll show you the Time Machine!"

* * *

Outside, two Dark figures sat on a tree.

Both had yellow bug eyes, chrome heads, sharp teeth, and tentacles for hands and feet.

"Well, your highness," one said. "We've located The Earth Potentate. What do you want to do with him?"

"I'm thinking death and destruction." The other alien, Rupert, said.

"I was thinking destruction and death." Said the first, Earl was his name. "But that's why you're the boss."

Both chrome headed aliens threw their heads back, and laughed.


	3. Hidden Calvin and Hobbes

_To Garfieldodie: Yes, Rupert and Earl will appear in some fics to add more of a plot to the story. I think I have a good idea for this story._

_Swing123: also, I haven't put up THE TIME PAUSER yet on Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, however, this chapter includes Calvin's device of time stopping. Just thought you might want to know. Also, I'm sorry about the short chapter. stupid writer's block._

Odie bounced across the table. He stopped at the edge of the table, and started staring off into space.

"Observe the dog." Garfield told Hobbes. "Observe the dog being kicked off the table."

Garfield climbed onto the table and raised his foot.

BOOT!

CRASH!

"Let me try." Hobbes said.

Odie picked himself up off the floor, and continued staring off into space with his tongue hanging out.

Hobbes skipped the kicking and went right to the pounce.

POW!

Garfield clapped with approval.

"Very original." He commented.

While Garfield and Hobbes played around with the dog who didn't seem to notice either one of them, Calvin continued to unpack.

He took a bag of pretzels, and put them into the duplicator.

"Boink"

Calvin took out the two pretzels, and ate them down.

Jon came into the room just then.

He had a dorky grin on his face, and was carrying a sandwich.

He sat down in the chair next to Calvin.

Calvin ignored him, and continued to unpack.

"So, what's your name?" Jon asked.

"Calvin." Calvin said.

"Calvin!" Jon said. "Great name!"

"Uh." Calvin said.

"Where do live?"

"Earth."

"Earth!" Jon said. "I've been there! Great place isn't it?"

"If you can get past the jerks, pollution, and morons who ask stupid questions and give stupid answers, yes."

"Quite a place."

Just then something yellow with a tongue flew past Jon and crash landed into the wall.

"GARFIELD!" Jon screamed.

"It wasn't me!" Garfield said. "And for once, I'm telling the truth! Hobbes did it!"

Calvin continued to unpack.

Then, he uncovered his infamous Time Pauser.

He grinned, and hit the button.

BOOM!

Time stopped.

Calvin rushed into the kitchen grabbed some more pretzels, and rushed back into the livingroom.

BOOM!

Time started up, again.

Calvin ate down the bag of salty saltness.

* * *

Outside, Rupert and Earl were peeking into the house.

"Wow." Earl said. "I didn't know that Earth had walking beach balls."

"No I think that's one of those Earth 'cats'." Rupert said.

"You'd think these Earthlings had never heard of a treadmill before." Earl said.

"tell me about it." Rupert said.

"So, what's the plan?" Earl asked.

"Watch this."

Rupert pushed the button on his space uniform. He transformed into Rupert Chill.

Earl did the same on his uniform. HE changed into a bald man with a jacket.

Rupert and Earl slipped on their sunglasses.

"Won't Calvin or his parents recognize us?" Earl asked.

"Maybe Calvin will." Rupert said. "But his parents certainly won't. So, we're safe."

"Yup." Earl said.

Rupert rang the doorbell.

Seconds later, Jon opened the door.

"May I help you?" He asked.

"Yes." Rupert said. "My name is Mr John Howard Chill, it appears that me and my friend here, have been in a car wreck."

"Well," Jon said. "I got plenty of room! Why don't you bunker up here for the night?"

"Why thank you sir." Earl said. "You won't regret this."

Garfield rushed up to Jon.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Garfield screamed. "You can't invite more people into _my_ house! My food! My reputation! My honor! NOOOOOOO!"

"What a cute little kitty." Rupert said bending over to pat Garfield.

Garfield hit the switch blade in his claws, and swiped Rupert across the face.

"YEEEE-YOW!" Rupert screamed, jumping up. "YOU HORRIBLE SPACE FELINE!"

"What happened to cute?" Garfield asked.

"Oh, I am _terribly _sorry about Garfield!" Jon said, holding on to Rupert's back. "He doesn't like strangers! Oh, I'm _so_ sorry!"

"Yeah!" Rupert said pushing Jon away.

"Hey, what's going on?" Calvin asked turning the corner.

"Somebody else besides _you_ is about to eat all my food!" Garfield spat at Calvin.

"who could possibly eat so much food as yo..." Calvin stopped.

He gawked up at the two men in the doorway.

"Ah! Hello Calvin!" Rupert said.

"ALIEN!" Calvin screamed, pointing at Rupert and Earl. "THE HOUSE HAS BEEN INVADED BY ALIENS! JON! GET YOUR RIFLE! AND HURRY!"

Calvin ran around the corner, screaming like a maniac.

"HOBBES! MOM! DAD! THE ALIENS HAVE FOUND ME! QUICK! PACK UP! WE HAVE TO LEAVE! THE ALIENS! THEY'RE GONNA GET ME! HELP!"

Jon, Garfield, Rupert, and Earl stared at the corner.

"uhhhh... Yeah." Jon said. "well, um, come in."

Rupert and Earl came into the house.

Calvin and Hobbes weren't seen all day.

Mom had come up to Rupert, and asked him where he could be. Of corse, Rupert didn't know.

Calvin and Hobbes were hiding under the bed.

"Got any three's?" Hobbes asked, holding up a deck of cards.

"Go fish." Calvin said.

Hobbes took a card from the pile.

Garfield peeked under the bed.

"Your Mom's looking for you." He said.

"We're not coming out of here, until Rupert leaves." Hobbes said.

"Well, you better find a better hiding spot." Garfield said.

"Why?" Calvin asked.

"Rupert and Earl are sleeping in this room." Garfield replied.

In mass panic, Calvin and Hobbes scrambled out from under the bed.

"Please, Garfield!" Calvin begged. "You've got to hide us from Rupert! If he finds us, then the entire world is doomed!"

Garfield considered that.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure if I believe you about the aliens, but no world means no food, so I guess I'll humor you. There is one place I can hide you."

Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes peeked out of the room.

The coast was clear.

Garfield led Calvin and Hobbes across the Kitchen, and up the stairs.

Garfield walked over to the back of the wall.

Garfield looked to see if anyone was looking, then pushed his paws into the wall, the wall gave way, and a tunnel came into focus.

Calvin and Hobbes stared into it.

"What is it?" Hobbes asked.

"A tunnel to the refrigerator." Garfield said. "Right underneath the fridge, is a small room with a table and some cards. You can hide in there. Now hurry, before someone sees."

Calvin and Hobbes crawled into the tunnel.

"Nobody knows about this right?" Calvin asked.

"Nobody but you, me, and Hobbes." Garfield grinned, and with that, he closed the tunnel up.

Calvin and Hobbes crawled through the tunnel, then came to the room, Garfield was talking about.

Calvin got an ice creme out of the fridge, and sat down on the dirt floor.

"Well, I'm bored." Calvin said.

"Try thinking about who's above the tunnel." Hobbes said.

"Suddenly, all boredom has faded." Calvin said.

-Sigh-

It was going to be a long night.


	4. Idiot Parents

_Tootiriz: I'm glad you like the story. As for where I got the channel surfing thing as exercise, it WAS from a past comic. I don't remember which one, though. Enjoy this next chapter!_

"CALVIN!" Mom called. "CALVIN WHERE ARE YOU!"

Mom sighed. "Wow."

Rupert came into the room.

"Wow, John." Mom said to him. "If Calvin would just realize your not Rupert..."

"Ah, he'll figure it out, soon!" Rupert said. "Then he'll come out of hiding, then we can properly meet."

Man, are Calvin's parents morons or what?

* * *

Garfield crawled through the tunnel.

"Here." He grumbled, impatiently. "Your MTM."

"Garfield, you seem upset." Calvin said, taking his MTM, and putting it along with his Duplicator/Time Machine/Trasmogifier, Time Pauser, Transmogifier gun, comic books, and bottomless bag.

"Oh you noticed?" Garfield asked.

"When people get bored, they need things, Garfield." Calvin said. "You can go put that in your pipe and blow bubbles with it."

Garfield and Hobbes stared at Calvin.

Calvin ignored both of them.

"So, Garfield." Hobbes said. "how is everything going above ground?"

"Rupert and Earl are still there." Garfield yawned.

"Great." Calvin said. "We could be here for weeks."

"Considering you have access to the fridge, I feel your pain." Garfield said.

"Oh, alright. Take this."

Calvin handed Garfield his Time Pauser.

"What's this?" Garfield asked, looking it over.

"It's a Time Pauser." Calvin said. "With it, you can stop time, and get food without anybody noticing."

Garfield grinned.

"Oh thank you!" Garfield said. "This friendship has officially kicked off!"

"I want it back though when we can leave." Calvin said.

Garfield's grin faded a little.

"Oh." he said, dully.

Garfield left, leaving Calvin and Hobbes alone.

"I'm so bored, I think I want to go to the Cetaceous Period again." Hobbes said.

"Here ya go."

Calvin handed Hobbes the MTM.

"I'm not _that_ desperate." Hobbes said.

Calvin leaned against the dirt wall.

"Maybe we can conquer our boredom by thinking of something we like?" Hobbes suggested.

"Right!" Calvin said.

Everything became quiet.

"All I can think of is that guy in New Jersey who died of Boredom last year."

"Me too." Hobbes said.

"Well, I guess we can just sit here, and slowly rot." Calvin said.

"Sounds fun." Hobbes said.

Above ground, Garfield was talking with Odie.

"Alright boy?" Garfield said. "Just like secret agents. We gotta find out if that "John" character is an alien!"

Odie barked.

"However, we need code names." Garfield said. "You can be brainless moron, and I'll be agent genius."

Odie barked suspiciously.

Garfield grinned, innocently.

"Why no, Odie," He said. "this isn't an excuse to call you names. What a silly idea."

Garfield walked up to Rupert, who was sitting in the chair.

Rupert glared down at him.

"Get away from me!" He snarled.

He drew his foot back, and kicked Garfield clear across the room.

Garfield crashed into the wall, and there he lay, his eyes not in focus.

Rupert got up, and walked over to where Garfield was.

He bent over, and leveled a finger at him.

"That was for scratching me." He growled.

He stood up, brushed himself off, and walked off.

"Agent Genius to Brainless Moron!" Garfield called. "The victim is heading for the Kitchen doorway! Release the foot!"

From behind a plant at the doorway, Odie gave Garfield a thumbs up, then stuck his foot in Rupert's way.

"AAAAA!"

CRASH!

Odie barked, happily, and rushed off.

Rupert got up, growled, angrily, then chased after Odie.

"Turn him off to me!" Garfield called.

Odie rushed toward Garfield, then turned away at the last second.

Garfield pinned his ears down, grinned, evilly, then swiped Rupert across the leg.

SWIPE!

"YEEE-OUCH!"

Rupert stopped chasing Odie, and started chasing Garfield.

Garfield rushed off.

Rupert ran after him.

Suddenly Rupert realized that Garfield was up the stairs.

He could have sworn that he was going down the hallway.

Rupert continued chasing Garfield, but it seemed like Garfield was in seven places at once!

Soon, Garfield just vanished.

Rupert scratched his head, then turned back, to go to the living room.

Garfield was hanging onto a lamp on the ceiling.

"Agent Genius to Brainless Moron!" Garfield called. "I am now stationed at the spy counter! Retreat!"

Odie rushed out of the livingroom.

Now was th perfect time for spying.

Jon, Mom, and Dad were out of the house, looking for Calvin.

Garfield stood on the ceiling, virtually invisible.

Earl came into the livingroom.

"The Earthlings are outside looking for the Earth Potentate." He said.

"He's not outside." Rupert snarled. "He's in this house. I've stationed cameras at the every exit in this house. Calvin has not left it."

Garfield watched Rupert and Earl.

He was getting suspicious for Earl's use of the words "Earthlings" and "Earth Potentate."

And how could Rupert set up cameras without Jon noticing?

Just then, Rupert took off his sunglasses.

Garfield nearly fell off his station.

Behind the sunglasses were yellow, compound eyes.

Earl took off his sunglasses.

They were the same.

Rupert's skin turned gray, and his hair vanished. His head filed into a point, and his hands and legs turned into tentacles. His clothes vanished, and a space uniform appeared. more tentacles shot out of Rupert's sides.

The same happened to Earl.

"Gee," Garfield said. "John and Earl could really use some advanced plastic surgery."

"We're going to search the house." alien Rupert said.

Earl and Rupert went separate ways.

"Oh no!" Garfield said. "If they push on that side of the wall, they'll find the tunnel! And if they find the tunnel, they'll find Calvin! And if they find Calvin, the world will be destroyed! And if the World's destroyed that means... GASP! NO FOOD! No TV! No sleeping! They'll probably turn us all into slaves! I've got to do something! And quick!"

Garfield's stomach growled.

"Hmm." He said. "I guess the world can wait until after lunch."

Garfield climbed down from the ceiling, and walked up to the refrigerator.

"Let's see." He said. "Do I want tuna, french fries, lasagna, egg salad, or a cake?"

Just then, something tapped on Garfield's shoulder.

"Yes?" He asked turning around.

"Hello, cat!" Earl growled.

Garfield screamed.

"ALIEN!" He yelled.

Earl lurched form Garfield.

Garfield leaped from the way, and slammed the fridge door on Earl's head.

"YEE-OUCH!" Earl screamed.

Garfield rushed off.

"ODIE!" Garfield yelled. "RUN FOR YOU LIFE! THE ALIENS ARE COMING! _AND THEY DON'T WANT OUR FOOD!_"

Garfield rushed upstairs to get to his tunnel.

Just then Rupert leaped in front of him.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty!" He snarled.

Garfield screamed, and rushed off in the opposite direction. Just then Earl leaped in Garfield's way.

"Here go your nine lives, cat!" Earl laughed, holding up a ray gun.

Garfield flinched, put his hands over his head, and started shaking.

Just then the front door slammed.

"Garfield! Odie! John! Earl! We're home!" Jon called.

Rupert and Earl exchanged glances, and quickly changed back into humans.

"And did you find Calvin?" Rupert asked as Jon came up the stairs.

"Nope." Jon said. "wherever Calvin hid, he did it in a good place!"

Jon looked down at Garfield.

"Whoa, look at Garfield!" He said. "he's all shaken up!"

Jon bent over to where Garfield was.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Just then, Garfield's stomach growled again.

Garfield stopped shaking, and smacked his lips.

"Hmm." He said. "I will if I have a good medium sized snack. Perhaps some soup, a string of smoked sausages, some lasagna, a burrito, a cheese burger, another burrito, some French Fries, a Strawberry milkshake, a Big Mac, some tuna, a cake, a pie, some chips, a..."

Is this boring you?

Well, let's switch chapters.

Maybe that will help.


	5. Hop Along Horse Feathers

There we switched chapters.

Now where were we?

Garfield burst into the tunnel, he frantically crawled through it until he reached the room.

"Well?" Calvin asked. "Did you look into it?"

"Apparently," Garfield yawned. "the rapidly disappearing food is the least of my problems, believe it or not."

Hobbes' eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"You _saw_ Rupert and Earl in their alien forms!" He shouted.

Garfield nodded. "And let me say, they desperately needed a face lift."

Calvin felt his eyes trying bounce out of his head.

"Then they _are_ Rupert and Earl! They've come here to get me! And I'm in big trouble!"

"Considering that they were going to fry me for sport," Garfield said. "Yeah, you are in big trouble."

Suddenly The three heard Jon.

"GARFIELD! WHERE ARE YOU!"

"Whu oh." Garfield said. "The artillery is requesting my presence."

"Wait a minute!" Calvin said. "We're trapped under the house!"

"Yeah, but I'm not. Bye."

And with that, Garfield left.

Calvin and Hobbes glared after him.

* * *

Garfield walked out of the tunnel.

There he met, Jon, Mom and Dad.

"We're going out to look for him some more." Dad said.

"You stay here." Mom said. "In case he comes back."

Jon's eyes became very serious and he did a salute.

Mom and Dad walked out the door.

Jon turned to Garfield.

"Alright Garfield. I'm going to stay here in case Calvin comes back." He said.

"What an original idea." Garfield said.

"Meanwhile, you came help John and Earl find him."

"I'd rather go on a diet." Garfield said.

"Go!" Jon growled.

"Very well, but mark my words, when I die, I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you."

Garfield marched away.

Rupert and Earl were waiting for Garfield in the Kitchen.

"Here kitty." Earl snarled, reaching behind his back.

Garfield's eyes widened, slightly.

"There's only one thing to do about this!" He declared.

The shoved a finger at Rupert and Earl.

"I will no longer hide behind the curtains of cowardly something or other!" He announced. "I will rise up from the shredded curtains and defeat the terror that faces me!"

As Garfield talked, Rupert and Earl exchanged confused glances.

"...Some president said to "Fear nothing but fear itself!" I see no fear anywhere, at this particular moment, so I will rise, and defeat the aliens who..."

Garfield's speech was cut short by Rupert taking out his ray gun, and blasting Garfield.

"YEEEK!" Garfield yelled, as the blast of red energy rocketed him into the livingroom.

Rupert and Earl changed into their alien forms and raced into the livingroom.

Jon wasn't in the chair.

Rupert slithered up to Garfield and growled, "_where's Calvin!_"

"Which Calvin could you be asking for?" Garfield asked, nervously. "There are many Calvins. Once I met this guy called Calvin who won a marathon in Oklahoma City."

Rupert and Earl pointed the glowing ends of their ray guns at Garfield.

"Or maybe you're talking about the Calvin that's here. I suppose that makes sense, since he's the only Calvin around."

At that very moment Jon walked into the room.

"Hey Garfield," He said. "I got some popcorn so we can watch some movies while we wait for Cal..."

He spotted Rupert and Earl.

He gawked at them.

Rupert and Earl stared back.

Then Jon spoke.

"Buh buh buh... A WHEEEE, a bumbedoo. GomlamunaeHUM!"

Jon's eyes went out of focus, and he continued to babble.

Garfield, Rupert and Earl exchanged glances.

Jon dropped the popcorn.

"Glum gleem mum dee dee DOO DAA! Mumble maple syrup on Tuesday. Rumple Ragamuffin. Remember December hop along horse feathers. Buzz blop buggy bumpers. Honk wheeze whiffle. Wheezle Whickerbill soap suds."

Garfield had later considered Jon's words. He tried to imagine a fantasy world that Jon had made up for himself. A world where horses had feathers, ragamuffins wore ruffled suits, buggies had bumpers, and Whickerbils ate soap suds.

By the end of the day, Garfield had decided that Jon was a lunatic, and what he said in a dazed state was even nuttier than what he said when he was awake.

Rupert and Earl stared at Jon.

"He found out." Earl said. "Should we waste him?"

Rupert studied Jon as he continued to talk about how twenty toads went to the wedding of an egg salad sandwich.

"No." Rupert grinned. "Let's watch him struggle to tell everybody that we're not of this planet."

Earl grinned and turned to Jon.

"Boo." He said.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Jon screamed, leaped in seven directions at once, and disappeared in a puff of dust.

Rupert and Earl got a few chuckles out of that. Then they turned back to Garfield.

He had vanished.

Garfield was in bed, of corse, sleeping his life away, and hiding from Rupert and Earl.

* * *

Underground, Calvin and Hobbes continued to sit. bored out of their skulls, and about to mad.

Calvin stared Hobbes, and Hobbes stared at Calvin.

Hobbes was half awake, while Calvin had completely checked out.

"_Spaceman Spiff stares at the alien._" Spiff thought. "_just staring. who-hoo. star-ing. Something should happen any year now. a-a-a-a-a-a-a-any decade now. Yes sir._"

"SPIFF LEAPS THROUGH THE AIR AND ATTACKS THE ALIEN!" Calvin screamed, desperate for something to happen.

Calvin and Hobbes rolled around on the ground for a while, until Hobbes decided they had to go upstairs before brains started leaking out their ears.

Calvin peeked out of the opening in the wall.

He took a step out.

Nothing happened, so he took another step out.

When nothing happened, again, Calvin stepped out of the wall, and peeked down the balcony.

Rupert and Earl were nowhere in sight.

Calvin motioned for Hobbes to step out, and he did so.

Hobbes closed the opening, and tiptoed over to where Calvin was.

They had left their hiding space.

And they were going after Rupert.


	6. The Stupidest Crew Ever

Mom and Dad walked back into the house.

"We can't find Calvin, anywhere." Dad said. "I'm starting to get worried."

They walked into the livingroom.

Jon was standing there.

His eyes weren't in focus, and he was bumbling to himself about flying horse shoe raddish that got put on a hamburger that was going into the deep reaches of New Hampshire.

I could just go on and on about what he was babbling about, but I'm a busy writer trying to compose this story, so your going to have to think of the most ridiculous thing in the universe, and multiply by goose feathers. You'll get a vague idea on the drone that was leaving Jon's mouth, and filling the room with toxic vapors of idiocy .

Mom and Dad exchanged glances, then left.

* * *

Garfield and Odie were hiding under the bed.

"OK, Odie, what are we going to do?"

Odie shrugged.

"The two parents are no help, the kid and tiger are out of commission, and Jon..."

Garfield and Odie exchanged glances.

"Actually, I don't want to say any more." Garfield said, rubbing his chin.

* * *

Meanwhile, high up in space in the mothership, Earl's alien crew had been left on the ship. unsupervised. For several days.

In other words, if you don't know Earl's crew, the entire place was trashed.

Soda bottles and pizza boxes littered the floors, and everybody was arguing about who was going to pick up the ship.

"Did anyone ever find that Shadowfax that Hank let loose on the ship?" Lenny asked.

"Yeah I think it's in the control room somewhere." Alex said.

Mikey walked up to the control room door, and pushed the button that would open it.

FWOOOSH!

Papers, boxes, half eaten pizzas and three space rats collapsed onto the alien.

When, he climbed out, he pushed his tentacles into the mess, and called, "Oh Mr Shadowfax! Are you in there?"

"SCREEEECH!"

"Yeah, he's in there. Somewhere."

The aliens all stood in circles, doing nothing.

"Hey! Who wants to order more pizza!"

Several tentacles went into the air.

Alex rushed over, and picked up the intergalactic telephone, and started pressing buttons.

"Hope I get the right number this time." He said.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes tiptoed and crawled across the balcony, searching for Rupert without actually going down the stairs.

Since Rupert wasn't even in the house, at the moment, that didn't do much good.

"What are we going to do when we get Rupert?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, I'll bite his head, and you can kick him in the shins, and I'll punch his face, and you can..."

"Never mind."

Finally, Calvin and Hobbes tiptoed down the stairs, looked around, and peeked into the livingroom.

There they found Jon.

Babbling.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"I don't even want to know." Hobbes said.

He turned around, and started up the stairs.

"Wait, we have to think up a plan!" Calvin yelled.

"I have a plan. Sit under the house and keep the story going for several weeks."

"OK, fine! Go be bored! _I'm_ going to go defeat Rupert!"

"Bye, bye, Calvin."

"You'll be sorry, of corse! I'll receive all the medals of honor, and you'll be hiding like a weenie under the house!"

"I only hope I'll be able to live with myself."

Hobbes dove back into the tunnel.

Calvin muttered and grumbled, and tiptoed around the house.

Soon he came to the room that Rupert and Earl were sleeping in.

He started to search the closet.

"Alright, Rupert! What's your diabolical plan!"

In the closet, Calvin found golf equipment, Jon's cookbook and year book, some photos of Jon in a zebra suit, and a bag of chips, but nothing relating to aliens.

"Phooey." Calvin said, slamming the door.

"Hey look, I found the rescue squad." Hobbes said, sarcastically, looking under the bed.

Calvin peeked under the bed, and stared at Garfield.

"What are you doing out of your hiding spot, spike head?" Garfield clashed, with his ears pinned back.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Am I in the presence of the King of Laziness? Should I kneel?" Calvin shot back.

Garfield's claws shot out of his paws, and he gave Calvin a deadly growl, soon, they were rolling around on the ground, fighting.

Hobbes and Odie watched.

"Well, We can't say neither of them got any exercises." Hobbes said.

Odie barked, happily, not paying attention to anything around him.

Soon, Calvin and Garfield got tired, and stopped fighting. They agreed to a fifteen minute truce, shook hands, and thought about how they were going to defeat Rupert.

They had been thinking for about five minutes, when all at once, the four heard a beeping sound.

Calvin, Hobbes and Garfield looked up.

Even Odie paused from drooling on his own foot to listen in.

"Huh." Calvin said. "A beeping sound."

"Yup." Hobbes said. "I do believe it is coming from your back."

"My back?" Calvin yelled, staring at Hobbes in utter confusuion.

"Yes," Garfield said. "You've hooked your CD player onto the back of your shirt, and there is a little red light on it blinking at every beep."

"Well whaddyaknow?" Calvin said, excitedly. "I got a phone call!"

Calvin reached behind his back, and picked the MTM up.

"This is never happened before." Said Calvin. "I've never got a phone call!"

"How come?" Hobbes asked.

"My phone number is ten billion digits long." Calvin replied.

Hobbes' eyes blanked out.

"Who's have the patience or the luck to dial that?" Garfield demanded.

"Who cares? Let's see who's calling!"

Calvin pressed a button on his MTM.

A voice came out.

"Hello? Pizza Parlor? I'd like to order a large cheese pizza. with onions and anchovies and tomatoes and a hamburger and more cheese and horseradish and a side of lava dippin' sauce and a hotdog covered in lava and mushrooms and some other pizza ingredient I didn't mention and lard and toaster crumbs and mustard and anchovy paste and sauerkraut and about fifty diet lava drinks to be delivered, please."

Garfield made a disgusted look.

"_Onions!_" he spat.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged looks of glee.

"It's Earl's crew!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes whispered something in Calvin's ear.

Calvin turned to the MTM, and took on his best Earl impression.

"Help! It's Earl, your loving captain!"

"Your working at the pizza parlor, now?" Alex the alien asked, shocked.

"What?" Calvin asked, in his regular voice. Then he returned to Earl's usual rough voice. "No! I's Earl, you've reached the wrong number, you dunce!"

"Oh, maybe I should have pressed the eight before the star key at three o'clock." Alex said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Never mind that! We're in mortal danger!"

"That's cool."

"The Earth Potentate is just to powerful!"

"Uh."

"And it would be real brave of you to come down here with Lenny and everybody else and save me! Your loyal hard working captain!"

"Well, I've always tried to be real."

"Exactly! Now get down here on the double and save me from the fierce predator called the Earth Potentate!"

"Righto, boss! **_HEY GUYS! WE'RE GONNA BE HEROS!_**"

Calvin chuckled to himself, and wondered out loud, "Now how are those dunces going to get here?"

"Why don't we just use those tracking thing-a-ma-bobs you installed in your suit last Tuesday."

"Oh... uh...sure" Calvin said.

Alex hung up the phone, turned to the alien crew, and promptly slipped on a banana peal, and feel to the ground. CRASH!

Calvin chuckled, and turned off the MTM.

"Well, great." Garfield grumbled. "Now we have an entire alien nation coming to get us! What help is that going to do?"

"You'll see." Calvin said, dusting his hands together.

"Until the aliens get here, though," Hobbes said. "I think it would be smart to hide under the bed."

Calvin, Garfield, and Odie quickly discovered that they were out in the open, for the world to see... and they decided to move themselves under the bed, with Hobbes.

Earl's crew may be coming. But that still left twenty minutes for them to get here.

Plus twenty more. The first twenty is for getting here. the second twenty is for dawdling, looking at the clouds, watching bumble bees, messing up, attempting to fix the mess up, _and_ hiding the wreckage.

Garfield, Odie, Calvin and Hobbes didn't have that kind of time...

And they couldn't wait for it in the middle of Rupert's room.


	7. Captured

Rupert entered his room, and walked over to the bed.

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield, and Odie backed up into the darkest corner of the bed.

Rupert was mumbling and grumbling things nobody could hear.

He sat down onto the bed, and attempted to get his shoe off. He didn't untie it, or anything, he was trying to rip of off without untiing it.

Finally, he got one of them off, and began working on the other.

Then Earl came into the room.

"Are you sending transmissions out to the crew?" he asked.

"No, Why?" asked Rupert.

"I just picked up a bunch of high radio frequency levels in this room. _Somebody _was in here, sending messages to the ship through a radio."

There was a moment of silence.

Calvin gulped, and the four backed up into the deep darkness under the bed.

Then, Rupert spoke.

"Earl. Close the door."

There was a thud, as the door closed.

"Are Jon or Calvin's parents in the house?" Rupert asked.

"The parents are out looking for Calvin. Jon's in the livingroom, but he wouldn't hear anything relating to action in the state _he's_ in."

"Good. Check the closets."

Earl started flinging the closet doors open, and looking inside.

Through the bedding, Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield, and Odie watched in sheer helplessness as Rupert's hand reached for the cover.

He ripped the covers up.

Everyone under the bed was quiet as a mouse.

Then... the big compound eyes of Rupert revealed themselves, as Rupert crouched down, and peered into the bed.

He looked right into Calvin's face.

Rupert's eyes went from Calvin, to Hobbes, to Odie, to Garfield.

But for a while, he didn't say anything. He just stared at them.

Then...

Whew...

He let the sheets drop, and he stood up.

"He's not under the bed." Rupert said.

Everybody nearly fainted with relief. It must have been too dark for him to see anything.

"I hope Earl's crew hurries." Hobbes whispered.

* * *

The UFO descended upon the Earth. Earl's crew aboard trying not to mess up.

"I wonder what the Earth Potentate's doing to him." Rick wondered.

"Probably using advanced human technology to encase him in a deadly floating orb of cottage cheese!" Lenny yelled.

"Yeah, but only we can do that." Alex pointed out. "All the other alien civilizations think that it's a stupid weapon."

"Oh yeah."

The UFO continued downward.

* * *

Meanwhile, while Jon was babbling about horse flies attending the wedding of mashed potatoes, Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie discussed their plan.

"Alright, plan clear?" Calvin asked.

Everyone nodded.

"OK." Garfield said. "But tell me, where do you plan on getting a ten ton diamond for the vaporizer?"

"I thought you had one." Calvin said, blinking.

"Look, let's just go with my idea." Hobbes voiced.

"What, and get ourselves killed?" Calvin demanded.

"How long has it been since you called the aliens?" Garfield asked.

Calvin looked at his watch.

"It's been about two minutes, now." He said.

"Yeah... We're dead." Garfield stated.

Suddenly, the mattress, the precious mattress, was yanked away, and Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield, and Odie were revealed to the light for all the world to see.

"This is bad." Calvin said.

The four looked up.

Earl was grinning down at them, as he threw the mattress away. Rupert was standing above them too, grinning at them like a lunatic.

"Well..." Calvin chuckled. "Look who it is! It's our good buddies Rupert and Earl! How ya doing? Great! Shall we discuss the brotherhood of all aliens and alien like creatures?"

Rupert and Earl shook their heads, and grinned.

"Well, then, we'll be forced to run for our lives screaming like a bunch of loons." Hobbes said.

"Good plan." Earl said.

"HEEEEEELP!"

There was an explosion of bedding, and the four had vanished.

"AFTER THEM!" Rupert ordered.

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie zoomed past Jon who was talking about flying DVDs going to market to sell their milk cows, and zoomed for the nearest exit.

Earl was blocking the nearest exit.

The four screeched to a stop, and roared towards the unnearest exit.

Rupert was blocking the unnearest exit.

So, Garfield, Odie, Calvin and Hobbes zoomed up the stairs, and raced for the hole in the wall.

Earl had filled the tunnel in.

After Calvin and Hobbes had finished spitting all the dirt out of their mouths, they continued their race against...

Rupert grabbed Calvin by the shirt and Hobbes by the scruff of the neck.

"YEEK!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed in unison.

Rupert laughed, and carried him off.

Garfield and Odie continued running.

They zoomed past Jon, who was talking about dancing snowballs at the movies, and raced for the bedrooms.

Oops.

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

Garfield and Odie had run right into the middle of the paint cans. Jon had been painting the bathroom, and now Garfield and Odie were covered in... hmmm... Well, Jon murdering Garfield didn't bother him as much, because Earl was running up the stairs into the bedroom.

So, both pets got covered in paint, and that wasn't entirely Garfield's fault, and they dove into the closet.

For a while, silence.

Garfield rolled his eyes around, and Odie shivered.

Earl entered the room.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." Earl hissed.

Garfield and Odie didn't move a hair.

There was a moment of silence.

For a while, Garfield thought Earl had given up, but... just then there was the sound of... sniffing?

Garfield turned to Odie.

"This isn't good, Odie." He said. "That alien's using some kind of smelling device. He's not depending on his eyes. In other words, if you can't understand that, than let me rephrase it. Earl's going to sniff us out."

Odie began to shiver.

Then, Earl's hacksaw voice rang through Garfield's ears.

"Uh. Can't find that idiot cat or dog... Now everything smells like... paint."

"Did you hear that?" Garfield asked. "Oh happy day! We were saved by the paint!"

Just then, Garfield picked up another sound. A kind of clicking.

It was coming from...

"Odie, you stupid mutt! Stop clacking your teeth! They're going to hear you!"

"W-Whimper, whimper, whimper." Odie clacked. Translation: "I c-c-can't h-help it, I'm so s-s-scared."

Garfield was about to straggle Odie, when... There was a loud hacksaw laugh, and Earl's voice.

"HA HA HA! Well what do you know? I can just follow the sound of the teeth. This is the best news of the century."

Earl walked over to the closet, and yanked it open, revealing Garfield and Odie's paint covered bodies.

Earl grinned down at them.

"Hi there, petties." He growled.

"Was that suppose to be friendly?" Garfield asked.

The two pets were about to leap away, when Earl grabbed them, and carried them away.

Earl carried them past Jon, who was talking about something so ridiculous I wont even bother to mention it, and carried them outside.

"To the basement!" Earl yelled.

"We don't have a basement." Garfield said.

Earl pushed a button on his suit, and ground underneath them dropped down like an elevator.

"We do have a basement." Garfield said. "What do you know?"

Garfield and Odie were flung into a cell with Calvin and Hobbes.

"Hi?" Hobbes said. "Come here often?"

Garfield and Odie gulped and turned to Rupert and Earl.

They were laughing their heads off, and muttering threats about all the terrible things they were about to do to them.

"Just so you know," Garfield said, turning to Calvin. "You're never invited back here, again."

Calvin blinked.


	8. The Grand Finale

Earl sat in a chair, slumped over, and staring at Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie with sleepy eyes.

He had been set to guard Calvin, and the three animals, and he was beginning to look drowsy.

"Don't worry." Calvin whispered to the three animals. "I read this in a book. The subconscious mind is usually capable of obeying certain orders!"

"May we have an English translation, please?" Garfield asked.

Calvin glared at him.

"Sleeping people do stuff they don't do when they're awake." He said,

"Yeah, but this is an alien." Hobbes said. "We have no proof that it'll work on him."

"Watch." Calvin said, winking.

Calvin tiptoed over to the steel bars, and stared Earl right into his sleepy eyes.

"Ear-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rl!" Calvin whispered, in a soft, slightly high pitched voice with his lips puckered out. "Come open the cage door, Earl! Come open the ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ge!"

Earl blinked.

It was then, that Calvin realized that Earl looked more bored than he did sleepy. But he tried it again, anyway.

"Ear-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rl!" He murmured, holding his hands over his head, and moving his fingers up and down. "Set the prisoners fre-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e! Set them free-e-e, Earl-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l!"

Earl gave him a blank stare.

"Many rewards will come your way if you open the stupid ca-a-a-age already-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!" Calvin muttered, starting to get impatient.

Earl's attention began to wander.

Calvin started getting angry.

"Open the cage or I'll stuff your head in a car engin-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-ne!" Calvin hissed, abandoning his subconscious request thing, but maintaining his slightly high pitched voice.

"Could you please tell me what the heck you're doing?" Earl asked, turning to Calvin.

Calvin muttered and grumbled, and turned back to Hobbes, Garfield and Odie.

Garfield was grinning.

"Well, that didn't work out too well, did it?" He asked.

"Shut up." Calvin muttered.

Just then, Rupert came back into the room.

"Alright." He said. "The device is ready."

"Good." Earl said. "This kid's driving me nuts."

Rupert unlocked the cage and faced Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie.

"Man this is going to be good." He said.

He led Calvin and the gang out with Earl in the back, making sure none of them would make a break for it.

Rupert and Earl led the four into a circular room.

In the room, there sat a table, with straps on it. And there was a gigantic laser hung above it.

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie stared at it.

"Well, that's certainly an original plan." Calvin said, sarcastically. "Strap them to a table, and make a laser slowly move upwards to them! We've seen it all before, Charlie! I thought that advanced alien civilizations were supposed to be able to come up with better torture than this!"

"We can." Rupert said, "We can strap you to a table and make you watch the first two seasons of _Dora the Explorer_."

Hobbes' eyes crossed, Garfield grabbed his throat, and nearly keeled over backwards, Odie's eyes rolled around in circles, and Calvin screamed, "GOOD GRIEF! That's terrible! You'd actually _do_ that!"

"When we have enough time on our hands." Earl said. "But we're running late. Get on the table."

"Well, I don't particularly enjoy the idea of getting zapped by a laser." Calvin said. "So, if it's all the same to you..."

Earl grabbed Calvin, and shoved him onto the table. Rupert took the straps, and bond him there.

Then, Earl made a grab for Hobbes, and strapped _him_ to second table, with a laser.

Rupert grabbed Garfield and Odie, as they attempted to make a run for it, and threw Garfield on table one with Calvin, and Odie on table two with Hobbes. Both were strapped down.

"Oo-kay." Earl said, as he and Rupert walked out of the room. "Try not to bleed all over the carpet; it'll take me weeks to clean."

And with that, they activated the lasers, and closed the doors behind them.

Red light shot out of the lasers, and hit the bottom of the tables. Smoke rose from them, as they slowly moved upward.

"Did I mention that you're never invited back here, again?" Garfield asked.

"Hobbes?" Calvin asked. "Judging how slow that laser's going, how long do you suppose it'll take until it reaches us?"

"Two minutes."

"Uh huh."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, my life's flashing before my eyes, and I'm wondering if I have enough time to get some slow motion shots of me slamming a snowball into Susie's head."

Hobbes' eyes squeezed shut.

"Well, there doesn't appear to be any way out of this, is there?" Calvin asked.

"Nope." "Don't think so." "Bark!"

"Well, we better think of something if we want to keep this story going." Calvin observed.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Any suggestions?" Calvin asked.

"Well, perhaps if I can work one of these straps on my arms loose," Hobbes began. "then I can take out some of these wires next to me, and disable the lasers."

"Hmmm..." Calvin thought out loud. "It's worth a shot. Try it."

Hobbes started thrashing his arm about, trying to wear out the belt.

He thrashed, struggled, and battled the strap with no luck.

"Well, this isn't working out, too well." Calvin said.

"Wait," Hobbes started. "I still have another idea."

Hobbes began thrashing, again, until his body was in a upside down U shape. Not a perfect U, but he had curved his body.

Calvin, Garfield and Odie exchanged glances.

Hobbes then stretched his tail out, as far as it would go, and he started touching the giant laser in several places.

"Hobbes, what are you doing?" Calvin asked.

"Observe." Hobbes said.

Hobbes' tail grabbed the bottom of the laser, and yanked.

CRACK! POP! BOOM!

Calvin's eyes bulged.

The laser, hovered above Hobbes' table, had just collapsed to the left, sending up a shower of sparks, and causing the laser to zap Hobbes' strap off his arm before it sizzled out!

"How did you do that!" Calvin spat.

"It's amazing that tails can yank screws out of stuff, isn't it?" Hobbes said, grinning.

"OK, good, fine, whatever. Whoop dee doo, you're safe. Could you save _us_ now?" Garfield snarled.

"Oh very well."

Hobbes turned his head to the mess of wires in front of him.

"Uuuh..."

"It's the red wire!" Calvin called. "It's always the red wire!"

"Are you crazy?" Garfield growled. "It's the blue wire! The red wire will make everything explode!"

"No, that was the yellow wire!" Calvin yelled. "The blue wire causes everything to _im_plode."

"You're insane!" Garfield yelled.

"Everybody shut up!" Hobbes spat.

Hobbes studied the wires in front of him.

Blue, red, yellow, green, purple, orange, white, grey, black. For crying out loud! Why did they have to be color coded!

"HOBBES!" Calvin called. "COULD YOU HURRY, FIRST CHANCE YOU GET!"

"Very well." Hobbes said.

Hobbes drew back his paw, and let it fly.

ZZZZZZZZT!

That probably wasn't the smartest thing Hobbes ever did.

The laser above Calvin and Garfield went out like a dead light bulb.

So did everything else.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

All at once, everybody was plunged into total darkness.

"Great." came Garfield's voice. "So now, we're strapped to a table in the middle of night. Terrific."

Hobbes started cutting the other strap loose on his arm with his claw. Then he worked on his stomach, then his legs.

Then he climbed off the table.

"Calvin, you wouldn't have anything useful for right now, would you?" Hobbes asked, trying to find Odie's straps.

"Hmmm, let me see here. Hobbes, reach into my pocket."

"Calvin, I have no idea where you are. Much less your pocket."

"Mm-hmmm." Calvin said. "Well then in that case, You're going to have to do this on your own."

Hobbes grumbled, and held his hands out in front of him, and searched for Calvin.

Finally, he found Calvin's table, and soon, Calvin.

"Gee, Calvin, When was the last time you got a hair cut?" Hobbes asked. "You feel so hairy."

"Please remove your paw from my face." Garfield growled.

"Sorry." Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.

Hobbes continued to search, and soon found Calvin's spiky hair.

Of corse, that's easy to find, considering that it the spikes are longer than his head.

Hobbes rooted through Calvin' pocket, and pulled out a small box.

"What's this thing, I can't tell." Hobbes said, eying it, through the darkness.

"I do believe it is my Hypercube." Calvin said. "I also do believe I have stored my MTM in there. Somewhere. Just get the MTM out, and activate the flashlight."

Hobbes rooted through all the junk Calvin had stuffed into the Hypercube, and finally pulled out a roundish miniature CD player.

He pressed a button on the MTM, and the Main Menu came up.

Unless you don't know, Calvin's MTM acts as touch screen technology. The hologram that comes out of it is designed for someone to tap the link right there with their hands.

Hobbes pressed his paw into the hologram a couple of times, until he found what he was looking for.

_Flashlight Activated_

At once, a bright light exploded from the tip of the MTM.

Now light was no longer a problem, and Hobbes could finish untiing everyone.

After the last strap was cut, Hobbes heard a familiar noise.

That small little BEEP from the MTM.

It made the hair on Hobbes' back shoot up.

For you see, whenever the MTM beeps, it means that bad things are to occur.

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield, and Odie stared at the MTM.

**The following is a message of terrible, horrible, fatal news of death**

See? I told you.

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie's eyes drifted downward to the message.

_Underground lab self destruction activated_

00:00:59

00:00:58

00:00:57

00:00:56

00:00:55

Calvin, Hobbes and so forth stared at the message.

"Huh." Hobbes said. "Guess I cut to many wires."

"Here's our cue to panic." Calvin said.

There was a moment of silence.

Then,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MOMMMMMMMMMY!"

Calvin and Garfield ran into each other, Hobbes hit his head on the ceiling, and Odie ran around in circles.

"THE EXIT!" Calvin screeched. "OUT THE EXIT!"

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie exploded out the door, and started running around in circles, again, and running into each other.

00:00:47

00:00:46

00:00:45

Calvin, and everybody else scrambled up the stairs to the elevator.

When they reached the elevator, Calvin slammed his fist into the button.

There was a moment of silence as everyone waited for the elevator.

00:00:26

00:00:25

00:00:24

00:00:23

Finally, the elevator came, and everyone flew onto it, and pressed the TOP FLOOR button.

The elevator started up.

00:00:16

00:00:15

00:00:14

00:00:13

the elevator music started.

00:00:10

00:00:09

00:00:08

00:00:07

00:00:06

The elevator beeped, as it reached ground level, and prepared to open up.

00:00:05

00:00:04

00:00:03

00:00:02

00:00:01

Calvin, Hobbes, Garfield and Odie leaped out of the elevator, and landed in the grass.

_**BOOM!**_

Before the ground could close up, the elevator rocketed out of the Earth, and was propelled fifty feet into the air, before crash landing in the neighbor's yard.

Fire also shot straight out of the ground, and spewed straight up for fifty feet.

"This reminds me of when Jon got the barbeque grill out." Garfield observed, watching the explosion.

Calvin was panting, he held onto his side, and continued to breath hard.

Suddenly, he felt a lump in his pocket.

Calvin pulled a small yellow object with a red button on top out of his pocket.

Oops.

Calvin quickly put it back in his pocket, but Hobbes had already seen.

"Calvin, what was that?" He panted, with a scowl on his face.

"It was, uh, a small object. Preferably in the yellow variety, and..."

"Was that your Time Pauser?" Hobbes asked.

"Well..."

"Did you have your Time Pauser with you that entire time?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, probably not the entire time seeing how I didn't stock up until we left the hideout."

"Has anyone ever beat you to death with a baseball bat?" Hobbes asked.

"Not that I could, uh, recall, no."

Calvin then realized that three pairs of eyes were glaring down at him.

Hoo boy.

Suddenly, The glares were interrupted by a yell.

"HEY! What have you done to our hideout!"

Calvin, Hobbes, and so on spun around right to Rupert and Earl who were glaring at them with their ray guns out.

"You know." Hobbes said. "Your hideout wouldn't have exploded if you had told me which wires were the laser ones."

Rupert and Earl fired their ray guns.

BLAST!

Garfield leaped from the way, and the grass exploded.

"Well, I guess we should run again." Calvin said.

In a blur of orange, Hobbes was gone.

And Calvin, uh, followed. So did Garfield and Odie.

Rupert and Earl ran after them, ray guns blasting.

Calvin and the gang rushed into the house, and slammed the door.

Garfield locked it.

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

Garfield suddenly became aware of three smoking holes in the door, and uh... hmmm.

Calvin and the gang rushed past Jon who was babbling about... Oh forget it, and rushed into the livingroom.

Rupert and Earl rushed into the livingroom, laughing like maniacs.

Calvin, Garfield, Hobbes, and Odie huddled in the corner, shivering.

"Well," Calvin said, as Rupert and Earl advanced. "This is the end. So long, Hobbes! So long Harkfield!"

"It's Garfield you tuna!" Garfield spat.

"Whatever." Calvin said. "Goodbye, cruel world! I hope you get ringworms! Goodbu..."

Before Calvin could finish, there was a loud CRASH!

It shook the whole house, and caused Jon to stop babbling about... nonsense. No kidding, Jon woke up.

Rupert and Earl were knocked off their feet.

"What the heck was that?" Earl demanded.

At that very moment, The door burst open, and a voice rang out through the house!

"**_FREEZE TURKEYS!_** ALRIGHT, CHARLIE! Come out with your tentacles up! We have this place surrounded, and we have fifty raging Shadowfax in reserve, just waiting for my order!"

Rupert and Earl exchanged confused glances.

"No result eh? Alright then! MEN! MOVE OUT!"

At that very moment, over a thousand aliens stampeded into the house, yelling, and screaming and carrying on.

Do you know what they were yelling and screaming?

"Frozen turkey! Frozen turkey! Frozen turkey!"

Now the world has heard of dumb, before, but _that_ just takes the medal.

Rupert and Earl stared at the stampede going through the house with petrified expressions.

Jon saw it, and fainted.

Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes, and Garfield and Odie tiptoed out of the room.

"I knew we should have left a babysitter." Earl said.

Soon, the house became full, and it was difficult to cram any more aliens in, they crammed in.

Pushing and shoving, and screaming "Frozen Turkey", the aliens invaded the house, looking for something to entertain themselves.

* * *

Calvin started rooting through his Hypercube

"Are you sure this'll work?" Hobbes asked.

"Of corse it will." Calvin said. "Just give me a second to find it."

* * *

While Rupert and Earl screamed and yelled, and tried to get the crew out of the house, Garfield walked over to the stairs.

He walked down the stairs with a grin on his face, and walked to the bottom, where the sea of aliens screamed and yelled, and tried to help.

Garfield held a small device up, that looked like a horn.

Garfield slowly squeezed the black end of the horn.

_**OAOOOOOOOAOOOOAOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!**_

All at once, yellow shockwaves exploded throughout the house, sending aliens tumbling off their feet, and hurling for the door.

Off their tentacles. They didn't have feet.

Calvin stood at the door, grinning.

"Yep." He said. "I knew my Scream Horn would come in handy, someday."

Hobbes and Odie exchanged glances.

The aliens screamed, and hollered "RETREAT! RETREAT! RETREAT!"

And stampeded for the door.

In the process of doing so, the crew overpowered Rupert and Earl, who were screaming and roaring, and banging their heads against walls, and carried them out the door with them, and onto the spaceship.

Before Rupert or Earl could regain themselves, the aliens yanked at the ship controls, and attempted to get it out of the dirt. They had crashed it, see.

"We can't get the ship started!" an alien yelled in horror. "We need a hammer!"

Garfield walked onto the ship, and handed an alien a hammer.

"Ah! Thanks!"

The alien ran over to the ship controls and started whacking it with the hammer.

Garfield calmly walked off the ship with a big grin on his face, as the Hyperdrive kicked in, and started blowing fire out.

Calvin and Hobbes emerged from the house, and watched, as the ship ripped itself out of the dirt, and flew into the sky, with Rupert and Earl at the window. Glaring at Garfield and yelling things they couldn't hear.

Soon, the spaceship vanished into the sky.

"Wow." Calvin said. "That was the second weirdest adventure I've ever been on."

"Well." Garfield said, walking back into the house. "At least my house is alien free."

Calvin and Hobbes followed Garfield into the... oops... house.

Except it didn't really look like a house anymore. It looked more like the back of a garbage truck.

Somebody had turned the house upside down, and shook.

And... uh oh... Jon was waking up, and Calvin's parents were coming back.

"Wha... what happened?" Jon asked, rubbing his head.

Garfield and Calvin exchanged glances.

"Time to bust out the old bambi eyes." Calvin said.

"Oh boy." Garfield sighed.

We needn't go into details.

Calvin was given a stern lecture about hiding in other people's houses, and Garfield was given a stern lecture about good house keeping.

Nothing like, "Thanks for saving the world, Calvin." Or "Thanks for getting rid of the aliens, Garfield." Oh no. THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!

Jon seemed to just forget Rupert and Earl as if it was a dream, and Calvin's parents eventually got the car up and running again.

* * *

Calvin and Garfield had to say their goodbyes.

"Well," Calvin said, shaking Garfield's hands. "It's been fun."

"Too much fun." Garfield sighed.

Hobbes was saying his goodbyes to Odie.

"Hope to see you again, soon." Hobbes said, climbing into the car.

"BARK!" Odie yapped.

"Do you think we'll have another adventure?" Calvin asked.

"Most likely." Garfield said. "We live just a couple of blocks apart."

"Good point."

Odie ran up to Calvin, and delivered a juicy lick onto his face.

SLURP!

"YUCK!" Calvin screeched.

He wiped the slobber off his face, then sighed, and patted Odie on the head.

"See ya later, boy." He said. Then he climbed into the car.

"Do you think we'll hear from Rupert and Earl, again?" Hobbes asked, as Calvin closed the car door.

"Nah." Calvin said, as Mom and Dad finished up their goodbyes to Jon, and got into the car. "They're probably bothering some other planet now."

"Hmm." Hobbes said, skeptically.

Calvin's parents drove the car away as Jon, Garfield and Odie waved goodbye.

* * *

High up in the sky, a UFO hovered above the Earth.

Rupert and Earl were staring over it.

Earl had finally shoved the crew away, and they were now alone.

Rupert narrowed his eyes to slits, as he stared over the Earth.

"We will meet, again, Earth Potentate." He said, in a deadly calm. "We will meet again."

**The End**

_Swing123: I hope this ending didn't seem rushed. If it did, let me know, and I'll try to edit the chapter. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
